Top 10 Trucks for Urban Cowboys

Once upon a time trucks were built for work. They had manual door locks, crank windows and AM radios, if they had any sound system at all. Leather seats, air conditioning and voice-activated distractions were out of the question. Like a framing hammer, pickups were simple and effective.

For decades they were purpose-made for hard-working men (and women), the kind of folks that make Paul Bunyan look like a dragqueen. But somewhere along the line these roughneck vehicles became cool with the subdivision set. People living in suburbia started to buy them en masse. With sales increasing so did the clarion call for more comfort.

Today it’s easy to push a simple truck’s window sticker well into luxury-car territory… and beyond. Sure, these vehicles can still handle a 14-hour day on the jobsite and are even more capable than their forebears, but more often than not they’re loaded with costly options that appeal to style-conscious shoppers rather than blue-collar workers. Here’s a list of 10 pricey pickups tailor-made for urban cowboys. The MSRPs are listed without incentives, so actual pricing may vary.

Volkswagen made it on a list of Top 10 trucks? ¿Por qué? Like practically every other vehicle in its lineup the German automaker’s pickup is saddled with a bizarre name, though it’s no stranger than Routan, Touareg or Scirocco. If you haven’t decided to Bing it yet, Amarok means “wolf” in the Inuit language.

This truck is not sold in the United States, though more than a few have been spotted on our soil. Mexican yuppies can treat themselves to a heaping helping of German engineering. ¡Olé! The range-topping Highline 4×4 model features a variety of truck staples including running boards, a diesel engine and manual gearbox. Of course it also benefits from restrained styling and a Prussian sense of order. Its base MSRP is nearly $41,000. Luxury-car pricing, what’s more German than that?

Beating out VW’s Amarok is the top-of-the-line Chevrolet Silverado LTZ. With a Crew Cab body and four-wheel drive this high-riding all-American truck jingles the cash-register bell at more than 43 grand. For the price of a home addition, subdivision-dwellers are treated 18-inch wheels, leather-trimmed seats as well as a 5.3-liter Vortec V8. A six-speed automatic transmission handles the Small Block’s 315 horsepower, which is perfect for dropping the family labradoodle off at doggie day care or for a midday trip to a downtown coffee shop. Moving on…

If you can’t Dodge it, Ram it. Chrysler’s range-topping “light-duty” pickup trumps Chevrolet’s positively plebian ‘Rado by more than $5,000. That added scratch gets you a veritable ocean liner full of clever features. The Laramie Longhorn version of the Ram 1500 Crew Cab delivers unrivaled innovation and a positively luxurious pickup experience, perfect for folks that manicure their hands more than their lawns.

Right now the truck is available with a 5-foot 7-inch bed and a 5.7-liter Hemi V8 (a 6-foot 4-inch cargo box will be offered a little later). The former can hold plenty of bagged mulch and a flotilla of potted flowers, the latter delivers 395 horsepower and up to 19 miles per gallon highway. The engine is matched to six-speed automatic transmission, though an eight-speed auto is on the way. If you want the optional “Active-Level” four-corner air suspension, and let’s be honest, no urban cowboy will pass it up, plan on shelling out an additional $1,595.

Ram may have earned eighth-place honors but Chevrolet comes back swinging. Topping its Chrysler counterpart by the price of a fancy dinner for two, Silverado strikes the Comstock Lode, or rather that’s what it’s going to cost you to pick one of these heavy-duty Chevies.

In many ways the HD version of this truck ratchets up the frou-frou factor. Of course they’re much more capable than the welterweight 1500, but that ability comes at an astronomical price. The LTZ four-by-four with dual rear tires costs nearly $50,000, and that’s without the optional Duramax diesel. The compression-ignition engine costs an additional $7,195! Even without it drivers are treated to a 6.0-liter gasoline V8 with 322 horsepower and a six-speed automatic transmission.

A laundry list of comfort and convenience features are available including heated and cooled front seats, a $460 dealer-installed “bed rug” to coddle your cargo and a touch-screen navigation system. Pfff, real truckers have wrinkled and coffee-stained Rand McNallys.

Narrowly edging out the gasoline-powered Silverado HD is Toyota’s Tundra. This arctic blast is shot across the Detroit Three’s collective bow; an assault on their last bastion of automotive dominance, the truck segment. The capital “T” sold nearly 102,000 of them in 2012, which is not bad, but it’s a far cry from what the hometown teams deliver per annum.

In Platinum trim the Tundra CrewMax stickers for an even more nearly $50,000 than the No. 7 finisher on this list. Wrap your head around that sentence.

Energizing the truck is a petrol-powered 5.7-liter i-FORCE V8. With quad camshafts and variable valve timing it delivers 381 horsepower with 401 lb-ft of twist. When it comes to transmissions you can have it anyway you want as long as it’s their way, meaning a six-speed automatic is your only “choice.”

This pricey Platinum model comes standard with niceties like automatic climate control, Optitron instruments and a JBL audio system, but here’s the kicker, the front bucket-seats are covered in perforated leather and feature embroidered headrests. Does the truck also come with scented candles and ornamental doilies?

Expect Toyota to deliver even more luxuries next year with a special 1794 edition 2014 Tundra designed to take on the flashiest of US haulers.

Topping the Platinum-edition Tundra is Ford’s F-150 Limited. With EcoBoost power, a SuperCrew body and four-wheel drive this high-line truck costs a shade less than $53,000. Of course it can also be loaded up with options that’ll push the sticker even higher.

What does the price of a bachelor’s degree from a reputable in-state university get you? Well, just like time-wasting general-education classes a lot of unnecessary rubbish, including power-folding side mirrors and polished aluminum wheels that span 22 inches. But you can’t forget about the automatic running boards that pop out when a door is opened, the power-adjustable pedals or Sony sound system. Attention urban cowboys, your truck is ready, just make sure you take off your shoes before climbing aboard.

Trouncing the ludicrously priced F-150 Limited is the preposterous GMC Sierra 1500 Denali. This trim level is tailor made for white-collar poseurs, after all, who’s going to haul a load of firewood or a yard of gravel in the bed of a $53,000 fashion accessory?

Easing the upper crust’s struggle is a suite of high-end features more appropriate for a Mercedes-Benz S-Class than anything with body-on-frame construction. The Sierra Denali comes standard with a heated, leather-wrapped steering wheel, a Bose “Centerpoint” sound system and a rear-view camera, because who has time to swivel their head these days? (Ain’t nobody got time fo dat!)

This Sierra may be a luxury liner but it’s still a capable work truck. This particular rig is powered by a 6.2-liter, 403-horsepower Vortec V8. It also features all-wheel drive for all-weather traction.

This one may be a year behind the 8 ball but interested parties can probably still pick one up at their neighborhood Ford dealer. At more than 53 grand there are certain to be more interested parties than those who can afford it. Limiting driver choice, they’re only offered with a SuperCrew body and a five-and-a-half-foot bed.

They’re powered by a monster 6.2-liter V8 engine that’s matched to – you guessed it – the gearbox du jour, a six-speed automatic. On the menu are 411 horses with 434 lb-ft of torque. When it comes to creature comforts this bike-themed four-wheel-drive pickup has a host of frivolous, high-end features. There’s a color LCD screen in the instrument cluster; the seats are covered in special leather with snakeskin accents; and in case anyone forgot the trim level they bought there are more Harley-Davidson badges than at the Sturgis motorcycle rally.

Believe it or not luxury automakers didn’t always build trucks. In the past they actually earned their keep by selling cars, but that business model is a distant memory. It faded away around the same time the saber-toothed tiger went extinct.

Like the somewhat more workaday Chevy Avalanche, Cadillac’s Escalade EXT is essentially a full-size SUV with an open bed. It features a flexible cargo hold and a comfortable cabin, which is a good thing, because one glance at the window sticker could give an unsuspecting shopper the vapors. A cushy seat to collapse into is a great way for dealers to avoid slip-and-fall lawsuits.

With all-wheel drive on board the “standard” trim EXT stickers for more than $64,000. At that price it ought to come with a backyard and a new roof. Of course owners are treated to all kinds of luxury amenities, things like French-stitched leather, a heated steering wheel and power-retractable running boards. But as pricey as the Escalade is, it only comes in second place, which means one automaker has even bigger cajones than GM.

Beating all comers in this Top 10 list is the 2013 Ford F-450 Platinum. Yes, they go that high. This diesel-powered four-by-four stickers for $68,470 without any options, making it more than four grand richer than the Escalade. Not bad for a vehicle with a solid front axle.

For their investment, buyers are treated to a special satin-finished grille appliqué, dual-zone climate control and an integrated tailgate step. An eight-foot bed and Crew Cab body are standard as well.

Under the truck’s giant box-shaped hood resides a monstrous Power Stroke diesel. This eight-cylinder engine puts out 400 horsepower with 800 lb-ft of torque. All that goodness is routed through a six-speed automatic transmission to dual rear wheels, or all six tires if necessary.